Preparation
Never undermine the power of preparation. Preparation is essential to create an optimal session for both parties. Before even contacting a Dominatrix, the client should read Her profile and website to see if they are a match. If the Dominatrix feels like their interests align and She wishes to take them on as a new client, the next step is to prepare for the session itself.
In my case, when the session is scheduled, I prepare the space and tools that may be implemented for the particular session. I create an outline for the content, which can change if I feel it’s better to do things in a different order or include other elements. Before the client arrives, I shower, shave, moisturize, apply makeup and put on the outfit and heels I deem suitable for the occasion. Finally, I meditate to clear my head before the client arrives.
I carefully prepare the session and my attire, and expect you to arrive prepared as well. Bring the donation in cash. Hand it over when we sit down to have a brief introductory chat. Tell me about any ailments or things I need to be aware of in regards to your current state of physical and mental being. Take a shower when I tell you to before the session. Wash yourself properly with the soap provided, everywhere. Especially your armpits, genitals and ass. Use the deodorant and mouthwash. They are not decor. Use them! Cleanliness is holiness. I can hear it if you turn the shower on for a couple of seconds only. Worse yet, I can smell it. I do not want to smell your mouth, armpits, dick or ass. If anal play or strap-on play is part of the session, make sure your ass is clean by using an anal douche before the session.
Boundaries
Setting clear boundaries is extremely important in a Dominant/submissive relationship.
Safe words(s) are important tools for the submissive to use when the Dominatrix is approaching their limits.
Clearly communicate what the nature of your Domme/sub session and relationship involves and what is not a part of it.
Balance
Knowing when to be stern and when to be more flexible can be difficult to get right in the beginning of getting to know a new client. Once trust is established and the session dynamic explored, it is easier to feel into what times a hard approach is appropriate and when a more gentle approach is needed.
Switching between being gentle and hard at the right times becomes like a dance once the session unfolds. The only way to find out is to bring 100% focus to the session, trust your gut and pay attention to the submissive’s state at all times.
Uniqueness
No two clients or sessions will ever be the same. Each relationship between a Domme and a sub is unique, with its own dynamic and boundaries. There is no one-size-fits-all template to a perfect session. Attunement to the client, session content and space is essential to a successful session.
Aftercare
Acknowledge that some time and care is usually required to transition from a session to life outside the cocoon of BDSM for both parties. The perfect formula for this can be different for each Domme and sub. Drinking water and having a warm shower is an easy and effective way to transition from subspace back to regular life. I like doing a post-session check-in and reflection, where the submissive is given space to discuss what the session felt like and what was good and bad.
Personally, I drink water and have a particular meditation I do after the client exits. Then, I remove any generated garbage and carefully clean all the equipment thoroughly before taking a long hot shower.
In summary, after 5 years working as a Dominatrix, preparation, boundaries, balance, uniqueness and aftercare are 5 aspects I find particularly important to my profession of choice.
