In the elevator on my way down, I took a final glance into the Christmas present bag I brought for my submissive, ensuring the anal plug, bottle of lube and a glove were hidden discreetly beneath a thin layer of gift paper. Before the lift doors opened on the bar level, I slipped the butt plug’s remote control into my red clutch and giggled to myself thinking of the power I’m about to have over my submissive’s ass. 

When the doors opened, I slipped out with the gift bag in one hand and clutch with Ass Thumpers remote control in the other. Striding seductively towards my submissive in black patent leather six inch stilettos. My subs eyes attached to me as I made my way to the large L-shaped leather couch he sat on, eagerly awaiting my re-emergence. On the glass table in front of him were two espresso martinis with a perfect layer of foam on top. I sat down, placing the gift bag between us and crossing my long, tanned legs. My sub handed me my drink, and I had a sip, licking the remnants of foam off my red, shiny lips, while looking directly into his eyes the entire time.

“I have something for you. Merry Christmas.” I said with a twinkle in my eye. No need to open it here and now, I’m sure you know what it is. Are you ready?”

“I think so,” He responded, smiling nervously.

“Let’s cheers to that,” I said and raised my glass. Clink. 

“And to first times and fists,” I said after completing our first toast. Clink. We sat in silence for a moment, sensing the electric tension between us expanding. 

“It’s time for you to go to the bathroom and try on your present. Or should I say try in. Haha. Go on. But first, get me a large glass of water. Now!” 

My sub got up and walked quickly to the bar, gift bag in hand. He asked the bartender for a large glass of ice water, making sure they filled it to the brim and brought it back to me, smiling nervously and shaking ever so slightly as he placed it on the table in front of me. 

“Good boy. Bathroom, now.”

I watched him stride towards the male restroom, taking a mental note of his movements, wondering if he’d be able to maintain the same gait with my gift inside him. 

A couple minutes later, my sub emerged from the bathroom, walking at a similar pace towards our table, with a nervous smile and rosy cheeks. As he walked closer to the table, I pressed the On button on the Ass Thumpers remote I concealed inside my hand.

His eyes jumped as he tried to compose himself and continue striding towards the table. I pressed the off button when he was halfway through sitting down slowly, all while smiling mischievously. Once my stuffed sub was seated, I grabbed my full glass of ice water, chugging it as I held his gaze. When the glass left my lips, I pressed the remote again while looking deeply into his eyes. I barely noticed any change in his composure, even though the vibrations on level one were so strong I could feel the whole seat vibrating. I slid my finger over to the + button, pressing it while lifting an eyebrow as I glanced deep into my subs eyes contemplating the depths of his asshole. The vibrations were now so strong I could feel them spreading over to my pussy. What a powerful toy.

I turned the vibration off again long enough for us to lift our glasses and make another toast for our reunion and what’s yet to come. The moment my sub put down his glass, I engaged his anal plug vibrations again, this time taking it up to level three. Feeling the vibrations spread all over the leather couch, wondering if anyone noticed the naughtiness we were up to.

“Let’s continue this upstairs,” I said before leaving my sub behind once more to change into more appropriate attire for what’s next. 

“Keep your phone close, I’ll only be a couple minutes.” I said before walking away feeling my subs eyes burning into my backside.

Upstairs, I slipped out of my stilettos and into 10 inch thigh high black patent leather boots. I grabbed the rubber collar in my hand and placed the gold metal leash around my neck resting close to my cleavage and the golden buttons on my bodysuit. I sat down on the chair in the corner, placing the collar on my leg right above the knee. Once comfortably seated, I texted my sub 

“I’m ready for you.” 

I wrote my master’s dissertation on the topic of the Dark Goddess and the Feminine Shadow. On this date, seven years ago, I moved to Australia with the intention of a six month break before continuing my PhD work on the same topic. I never went back.

Instead, I fell in love with Australia and put my PhD studies on hold indefinitely. I tried putting the Dark Goddess at the back of my mind. At the same time, I started working as a Dominatrix. Oblivious to how my choice of profession was a practical extension of my studies in a modern day setting. 

Instead of researching and writing, I became the Dark Goddess.

It’s not until I sit here today, seven years later, reflecting on the years I’ve called Australia home, that I can see how my choice of profession is clearly related to my studies. Sometimes, you need to take the time to sit down, reflect on how you got to where you are now, to realize how it's all connected. Even if it’s never occurred to you before.

Will I ever go back to my PhD dissertation? I might, but my thesis could be different. Perhaps it will be an inquiry into the Dark Goddess in Her modern guise. But, I’m in no rush to get back to academic writing. I’m having too much fun embracing more and more of the Dark Goddess in myself. 

Preparation 

Never undermine the power of preparation. Preparation is essential to create an optimal session for both parties. Before even contacting a Dominatrix, the client should read Her profile and website to see if they are a match. If the Dominatrix feels like their interests align and She wishes to take them on as a new client, the next step is to prepare for the session itself. 

In my case, when the session is scheduled, I prepare the space and tools that may be implemented for the particular session. I create an outline for the content, which can change if I feel it’s better to do things in a different order or include other elements. Before the client arrives, I shower, shave, moisturize, apply makeup and put on the outfit and heels I deem suitable for the occasion. Finally, I meditate to clear my head before the client arrives. 

I carefully prepare the session and my attire, and expect you to arrive prepared as well. Bring the donation in cash. Hand it over when we sit down to have a brief introductory chat. Tell me about any ailments or things I need to be aware of in regards to your current state of physical and mental being. Take a shower when I tell you to before the session. Wash yourself properly with the soap provided, everywhere. Especially your armpits, genitals and ass. Use the deodorant and mouthwash. They are not decor. Use them! Cleanliness is holiness. I can hear it if you turn the shower on for a couple of seconds only. Worse yet, I can smell it. I do not want to smell your mouth, armpits, dick or ass. If anal play or strap-on play is part of the session, make sure your ass is clean by using an anal douche before the session. 

Boundaries

Setting clear boundaries is extremely important in a Dominant/submissive relationship. 

Safe words(s) are important tools for the submissive to use when the Dominatrix is approaching their limits. 

Clearly communicate what the nature of your Domme/sub session and relationship involves and what is not a part of it. 

Balance 

Knowing when to be stern and when to be more flexible can be difficult to get right in the beginning of getting to know a new client. Once trust is established and the session dynamic explored, it is easier to feel into what times a hard approach is appropriate and when a more gentle approach is needed. 

Switching between being gentle and hard at the right times becomes like a dance once the session unfolds. The only way to find out is to bring 100% focus to the session, trust your gut and pay attention to the submissive’s state at all times. 

Uniqueness

No two clients or sessions will ever be the same. Each relationship between a Domme and a sub is unique, with its own dynamic and boundaries. There is no one-size-fits-all template to a perfect session. Attunement to the client, session content and space is essential to a successful session. 

Aftercare

Acknowledge that some time and care is usually required to transition from a session to life outside the cocoon of BDSM for both parties. The perfect formula for this can be different for each Domme and sub. Drinking water and having a warm shower is an easy and effective way to transition from subspace back to regular life. I like doing a post-session check-in and reflection, where the submissive is given space to discuss what the session felt like and what was good and bad.  

Personally, I drink water and have a particular meditation I do after the client exits. Then, I remove any generated garbage and carefully clean all the equipment thoroughly before taking a long hot shower. 

In summary, after 5 years working as a Dominatrix, preparation, boundaries, balance, uniqueness and aftercare are 5 aspects I find particularly important to my profession of choice.

I’m itching to spank asses and kick balls after a month away from play. I return to my chosen home with increased passion for my profession. Lucky slaves who see me when I get back to Sydney, recieves tons of built up energy.

As I traveled through my home country of Norway, I reviewed my life. I don’t belong in this cold country any more. My home is on the other side of the world. In Australia, where I stay warm and feel free to be me. Here, sex work is legal and my friends know what I do for a living and how much I love it.

Back in my home that is no longer my home, I don’t yet feel fully free to tell friends and family what I do. I am not ashamed. My life is simply so different from theirs, I believe it will be hard for them to comprehend what I do. Accepting it will be a whole different ball game. Especially if I tell them the kind of games I play with balls.

I cannot wait to return and take time to see clients in Sydney and across Australia. In the coming year, I am keeping Sydney as my base city. Touring across the country, to places I have visited before and adding on new cities will be my second priority. I encourage fly me to you requests for clients who wish to see me in their city of choice.

Sometimes, things become clearer from a distance. To me, how much I love life in Australia has been illuminated. I am fully dedicated to resume my life as a dominatrix in the country I proudly call my home.

Curious what a day in my life looks like? I love the diversity in my life as a dominatrix. No day is the same, although content can be similar and juggled around throughout the week. Important pieces in the puzzle of my existence are exercise, yoga, meditation, reading, social media management, text, call or video sessions, answering emails and texts, preparing content and live sessions. 

I stay strong in body and mind to be the best Domme I can be. Yoga and meditation makes me attuned to what arises in a session and able to adjust to the client. I build bodily strength to keep the submissive in their place on a physical level. This is particularly important in wrestling and discipline sessions. 

No client or session is like any other. In person sessions are built with diverse content and prepared for mentally and physically beforehand, to assure I am ready to give the client and myself the best possible experience. 

Text, call and video sessions require different preparation. First, I make sure I know what the client likes. Then, I plan a session with the elements the client requests with some room for improvisation and change if needed.

Online presence and social media management takes up a lot of my time. I got a website, directory profiles, and Twitter to maintain and update frequently. Preparing content in the form of Tweets, blogs, taking pictures and editing is a daily task. I enjoy it since it allows me to be creative and innovative and give people a glimpse of my life. 

The variety of experiences I have makes my life rich. Being a domme is a full time job and beyond. It is a lifestyle and I wouldn’t want any other way. 

Stepping across the threshold

As you step into the Dominatrix abode, you cross a threshold between ordinary life and fantasy. Ideally, stressors of daily life are left at the door as you relinquish all control to Her.

When I prepare a room specifically for our session, I step into my role as a Dominatrix and set up the necessary equipment and visualize step by step what lies ahead and potential variations in the session’s content. This way, I am already in the scene and prepared to welcome you in.

Alter ego

The Dominatrix is a powerful force that safely puts you in your place with her attire and demeanor. As a submissive, your task is to obey and worship Her. She makes the rules and you follow them.

Other times, in addition to being under the Dominatrix control, the submissive takes on a whole other personality. Examples include during pet play, adult baby play, and sissy sessions.

This alter ego has its own clothes and behavior, such as in sissy play when the submissive might have acquired a secret wardrobe for his alternate persona. Preparation for this type of play can begin before the session with for example the submissive sissy wearing women’s lingerie underneath his suit during the workday before seeing the Dominatrix.

Chastity

Another secret alteration to a submissive's everyday life is being locked in chastity and giving the Dominatrix the key. Giving Her full control of your manhood can be surprisingly freeing. You no longer need to think about when your next release will be. It is all in Her hands.

We keep a secret to the outside world on both ends of our agreement. You keep the chastity device under your pants and I keep the key on my necklace.

Suitcase of Secrets

Whenever I do an outcall or go on tour, I carry a big bag of secrets with me. Paddles, floggers, crops, restraints, cuffs, tape, latex, leather, lingerie, boots, shoes, lube, strapons, condoms and more fill up a rather substantially sized bag or suitcase as I venture to my destination.

I was once stopped by security at an airport in Norway when they pulled a collar and metal leash out of my carry-on and held it up, showing it intentionally to all travelers behind me saying “what is this?” I looked at them with annoyance and answered “it is a collar and leash, it is pretty clear to me.” They carefully put it back in my suitcase and let me go.

I like keeping my secrets in the bag until I reach my destination. I am sure plenty of Uber drivers and hotel staff have pondered the size and weight of my luggage. I am carrying a whole experience in my suitcase, of course it is heavy as hell.

Freedom in Secrecy

Having a secret component of life can feel liberating. You know there is a space you can enter where you are completely free from the demands of the outside world.

What happens during the time you spend with a Dominatrix largely remains a secret whether you are open to people in your life about being into BDSM or not. A session gives both the submissive and the Dominatrix a well of memories to visit when a break from the mundane is desired.

Whether you are walking through an airport with a suitcase filled to the brim with BDSM gear, or wearing women’s lingerie underneath your suit at a work meeting, you carry a bit of your secret life with you. Just enough to add an extra spark to your eyes.

1. Complete Control 

Nothing excites me more than knowing you are fully at my mercy. 100% devoted to serving me. Your pain and pleasure lies in my hands and I thrive from making the most of it.

2. Cock and Ball Torture

I absolutely love playing with a subs cock and balls. Especially inflicting pain with my hands; squeezing your balls, and using my nails on the head of your cock. Ballbusting using my feet to kick your balls is another favourite.

3. Pegging

I love the change of power dynamics when I put on my strap-on and get ready to fuck. I enjoy fucking first timers as much as more experienced men. Sensual and slow or hard and fast, pegging makes me feel strong, excited and empowered.

4. Foot worship

A submissive fully devoted to my feet that takes his time to give me a proper foot massage and then kisses and licks every part of my feet. After this, I step on his face and make him fully immerse himself in my feet. 

5. Tease and Denial

I love using my sensuality and curves to make you crave for me. Then, perhaps I’ll play with you just a little, before teasing you with my feminine beauty, making you beg for more.