Remote controlled anal plug in public, caning, and fisting made up my first session of the year. All things my submissive experienced for the first time with me. I love being someone's first. Add on the delights of boot, shoe and foot worship, spanking and pegging with a big black cock, washed down with a golden bath and you got the recipe for a perfect evening. 

I walked into the dimly lit lobby of an upscale Sydney hotel wearing black patent leather stilettos accentuating my long tanned legs, leading up to a leather mini skirt showing off my fit, round booty. My plump breasts supported by a black leather bra discreetly peeking out of a black silk top. Around my neck a silver snake necklace adorned with black, gray and red stones rested close to my cleavage. The femme fatale has arrived. 

In my right hand I rolled a black, shiny suitcase filled to the brim with toys to fulfill my own and any man's kinkiest fantasies. The contents of it were specifically tailored and partially funded by the submissive standing up in admiration as I click-clacked my way inside to give him a hug and hand over the suitcase while he slipped a keycard into my hand. We said our hellos with naughty twinkles in our eyes and an electrical tension of expectation flowing between us. My sub walked me to the elevator, which I entered and left him behind, eagerly awaiting the next step of our adventure. Let the playtime begin. 

When I opened the door to the spacious room, the first thing I noticed was the large bathtub in the middle of the space, as if it was designed to be the centerpiece. I gotta put that to proper use. The bathtub was separated from the rest of the room by a glass wall. I had many things planned for our session, but I could not resist slipping out a flesh colored dildo from my suitcase the moment I opened it, slamming its suction cup bottom onto the glass in the height of my submissive’s mouth. Suck on that bitch.

I continued unpacking one side of my suitcase of sin, placing various BDSM items across the room. Chains around the bed poles, check. Collar and leash, leg cuffs, wrist cuffs check. Dildos in increasing sizes, leading up to a 10 inch pink dildo, check. BBC, my second skin black leather strapon with 8 inch dildo, check. Extra clean with antibacterial toy cleaner, check. Paddle, flogger and cane check. Mouth gag with attached dildo, check. I grinned as I filled up the night stand with anal lube, regular lube, regular condoms, large condoms, extra large condoms. Then, I made a fist with my left hand measuring it against PBC (pink, big cock) and a fist sized dildo. The real thing is just a tad bigger, he can take it for me. I’ll go slowly. 

I zipped open the second side of my suitcase to reveal three sets of lingerie, one bodysuit, black stockings, and black knee high patent leather boots. The lingerie and bodysuit were all presents from the devoted sub for various occasions, birthday, christmas, new years and just because I’d look hot in it. Which I do. I removed my silk top and leather skirt to reveal a classic thong and bra in black leather. I slipped into a black mesh bodysuit, buttoning up close to 20 golden buttons on top of my lingerie, making my cleavage pop. I love teasing you through multiple layers. 

I pulled the black stockings up to the top of my thighs, looking back in the mirror to adjust the black seam to be in the middle of my long leg, before slipping back into my leather mini skirt and placing my feet into stilettos. I texted my submissive to order me an espresso martini, considered peeing, but decided to save the precious drops for him. Then, I put on a layer of shiny red lipstick in the bathroom mirror. The last thing I did before leaving the room was glance at the big bathtub, the chains around the bed poles, BBC and PBC, grinning mischievously to myself. In my hand I held a remote control labelled Ass Thumpers, caressing the ‘on’ button beneath my thumb. We’re in for the night of our lives. 

Another year, 365 days of experiences. Filled with life, love, BDSM, swimming, running on the beach, introducing newbies to domination and exploring Australia. 

What new experiences would I like to invite into my life this year? 

In the BDSM realm I’m considering booking a session with another Dominatrix to experience being on the other side of the ropes, literally. I have to admit rope bondage is not my strongest side and that’s something I’d like to change this year.

When it comes to my inner explorer, I’d love to learn how to sail and travel around the Whitsundays. Technically speaking, another thing including ropes. A trip without any work for once. Something I rarely do.

Speaking of work trips, I would like to tour places I haven’t toured before in Australia. High on that list is Hobart. This time I’m planning a half work, half experience trip and looking at dates around Dark Mofo. 

In the physical realm, I’d love to add regular martial arts classes onto my yoga, strength training, running and swimming regimen. I am also keen on burlesque classes. 

Trying new cuisine and restaurants, while also cooking more at home is another desire I have for the new year. Since my body decided to become lactose intolerant in my mid twenties, followed by gluten intolerant a couple years later, I will need to find food suitable to my sensitivities.

I’m looking forward to continuing designing my life as best suited for me. Filled with new experiences and continual improvement of my craft. 

Preparation 

Never undermine the power of preparation. Preparation is essential to create an optimal session for both parties. Before even contacting a Dominatrix, the client should read Her profile and website to see if they are a match. If the Dominatrix feels like their interests align and She wishes to take them on as a new client, the next step is to prepare for the session itself. 

In my case, when the session is scheduled, I prepare the space and tools that may be implemented for the particular session. I create an outline for the content, which can change if I feel it’s better to do things in a different order or include other elements. Before the client arrives, I shower, shave, moisturize, apply makeup and put on the outfit and heels I deem suitable for the occasion. Finally, I meditate to clear my head before the client arrives. 

I carefully prepare the session and my attire, and expect you to arrive prepared as well. Bring the donation in cash. Hand it over when we sit down to have a brief introductory chat. Tell me about any ailments or things I need to be aware of in regards to your current state of physical and mental being. Take a shower when I tell you to before the session. Wash yourself properly with the soap provided, everywhere. Especially your armpits, genitals and ass. Use the deodorant and mouthwash. They are not decor. Use them! Cleanliness is holiness. I can hear it if you turn the shower on for a couple of seconds only. Worse yet, I can smell it. I do not want to smell your mouth, armpits, dick or ass. If anal play or strap-on play is part of the session, make sure your ass is clean by using an anal douche before the session. 

Boundaries

Setting clear boundaries is extremely important in a Dominant/submissive relationship. 

Safe words(s) are important tools for the submissive to use when the Dominatrix is approaching their limits. 

Clearly communicate what the nature of your Domme/sub session and relationship involves and what is not a part of it. 

Balance 

Knowing when to be stern and when to be more flexible can be difficult to get right in the beginning of getting to know a new client. Once trust is established and the session dynamic explored, it is easier to feel into what times a hard approach is appropriate and when a more gentle approach is needed. 

Switching between being gentle and hard at the right times becomes like a dance once the session unfolds. The only way to find out is to bring 100% focus to the session, trust your gut and pay attention to the submissive’s state at all times. 

Uniqueness

No two clients or sessions will ever be the same. Each relationship between a Domme and a sub is unique, with its own dynamic and boundaries. There is no one-size-fits-all template to a perfect session. Attunement to the client, session content and space is essential to a successful session. 

Aftercare

Acknowledge that some time and care is usually required to transition from a session to life outside the cocoon of BDSM for both parties. The perfect formula for this can be different for each Domme and sub. Drinking water and having a warm shower is an easy and effective way to transition from subspace back to regular life. I like doing a post-session check-in and reflection, where the submissive is given space to discuss what the session felt like and what was good and bad.  

Personally, I drink water and have a particular meditation I do after the client exits. Then, I remove any generated garbage and carefully clean all the equipment thoroughly before taking a long hot shower. 

In summary, after 5 years working as a Dominatrix, preparation, boundaries, balance, uniqueness and aftercare are 5 aspects I find particularly important to my profession of choice.