My first memory of being dominant is from when I was six years old and instructed a group of local boys to build a treehouse for me. I told them what pieces of wood to use and what I wanted it to look like. If they were being lazy, I yelled at them to keep working and threatened to hit them with a tree branch if they disobeyed. It came naturally to me. 

My second BDSM related memory is from when I was thirteen, when my girlfriend and I hung out by the gas station and an older guy asked us to take our shoes and socks off and play with our feet. He offered us $30 to do so. We thought he was a total creep and ran away. Even though we discarded his offer, the fact that my feet could be profitable stuck to the back of mind.  

My third memory also involves foot fetish. I was fifteen and a rumor spread that a dude in the other class texted girls on messenger asking to buy their used socks. I did not believe it until he asked me himself. I still did not believe him and made him confirm in person he was the one sending the messages. When he did, he also asked if I could tie him to a tree in the forest and leave him there overnight. I thought he was crazy. 

Fast forward ten years, and I'm living in San Francisco being introduced to the Armory and a group of kinksters. I feel like I entered this magical world I always dreamed existed. The energy, the toys, the people, the power exchanges. It felt like a homecoming. 

With this post, I wish to inspire you to look within yourself and reflect on your first BDSM related memories. In this journey of life, it can be valuable to go back to the origins of whatever fantasies we are currently preoccupied with and embrace these first sparks of interest. 

Digital domination is increasingly popular these days when people are confined to their home. Sessions come in many forms such as text, call, video call and clips. A digital session gives the submissive a safe space to explore their kinks and the dominatrix to understand their demeanor and desires. This type of play can be a full BDSM experience in itself. 

Another benefit with digital sessions is that they give both the dominatrix and the submissive insights on how to prepare for the best possible session when they meet in the flesh. When used between in person sessions, text, call and video sessions keep up the momentum between the dominatrix and the submissive. In the digital playspace, they can reflect on a previous playtime, plan future explorations, and conduct it as an in person session.

Personally, I used to prefer in person sessions since they let you tune in to and play with the submissive’s energy, body and mind in a way digital sessions fall short of. However, since I had to switch to digital sessions during lockdowns, I have grown to like them more and more. 

Since I love writing, being able to place a submissive in a state of complete devotion through the written word gives me a sense of power and arousal. A text session opens up a creative space where we can explore kinks in depth and build a connection. 

Digital sessions can be exhilarating and liberating, as they allow us to uncover our desires without boundaries that might hold us back in person, such as shyness. Once certain aspects of one’s submission have been explored in a digital space, it can give a deeper understanding of one’s kinks and make it easier to live out a fantasy in real life.

Stepping across the threshold

As you step into the Dominatrix abode, you cross a threshold between ordinary life and fantasy. Ideally, stressors of daily life are left at the door as you relinquish all control to Her.

When I prepare a room specifically for our session, I step into my role as a Dominatrix and set up the necessary equipment and visualize step by step what lies ahead and potential variations in the session’s content. This way, I am already in the scene and prepared to welcome you in.

Alter ego

The Dominatrix is a powerful force that safely puts you in your place with her attire and demeanor. As a submissive, your task is to obey and worship Her. She makes the rules and you follow them.

Other times, in addition to being under the Dominatrix control, the submissive takes on a whole other personality. Examples include during pet play, adult baby play, and sissy sessions.

This alter ego has its own clothes and behavior, such as in sissy play when the submissive might have acquired a secret wardrobe for his alternate persona. Preparation for this type of play can begin before the session with for example the submissive sissy wearing women’s lingerie underneath his suit during the workday before seeing the Dominatrix.

Chastity

Another secret alteration to a submissive's everyday life is being locked in chastity and giving the Dominatrix the key. Giving Her full control of your manhood can be surprisingly freeing. You no longer need to think about when your next release will be. It is all in Her hands.

We keep a secret to the outside world on both ends of our agreement. You keep the chastity device under your pants and I keep the key on my necklace.

Suitcase of Secrets

Whenever I do an outcall or go on tour, I carry a big bag of secrets with me. Paddles, floggers, crops, restraints, cuffs, tape, latex, leather, lingerie, boots, shoes, lube, strapons, condoms and more fill up a rather substantially sized bag or suitcase as I venture to my destination.

I was once stopped by security at an airport in Norway when they pulled a collar and metal leash out of my carry-on and held it up, showing it intentionally to all travelers behind me saying “what is this?” I looked at them with annoyance and answered “it is a collar and leash, it is pretty clear to me.” They carefully put it back in my suitcase and let me go.

I like keeping my secrets in the bag until I reach my destination. I am sure plenty of Uber drivers and hotel staff have pondered the size and weight of my luggage. I am carrying a whole experience in my suitcase, of course it is heavy as hell.

Freedom in Secrecy

Having a secret component of life can feel liberating. You know there is a space you can enter where you are completely free from the demands of the outside world.

What happens during the time you spend with a Dominatrix largely remains a secret whether you are open to people in your life about being into BDSM or not. A session gives both the submissive and the Dominatrix a well of memories to visit when a break from the mundane is desired.

Whether you are walking through an airport with a suitcase filled to the brim with BDSM gear, or wearing women’s lingerie underneath your suit at a work meeting, you carry a bit of your secret life with you. Just enough to add an extra spark to your eyes.

1. Complete Control 

Nothing excites me more than knowing you are fully at my mercy. 100% devoted to serving me. Your pain and pleasure lies in my hands and I thrive from making the most of it.

2. Cock and Ball Torture

I absolutely love playing with a subs cock and balls. Especially inflicting pain with my hands; squeezing your balls, and using my nails on the head of your cock. Ballbusting using my feet to kick your balls is another favourite.

3. Pegging

I love the change of power dynamics when I put on my strap-on and get ready to fuck. I enjoy fucking first timers as much as more experienced men. Sensual and slow or hard and fast, pegging makes me feel strong, excited and empowered.

4. Foot worship

A submissive fully devoted to my feet that takes his time to give me a proper foot massage and then kisses and licks every part of my feet. After this, I step on his face and make him fully immerse himself in my feet. 

5. Tease and Denial

I love using my sensuality and curves to make you crave for me. Then, perhaps I’ll play with you just a little, before teasing you with my feminine beauty, making you beg for more.

Are you curious if the world of BDSM is for you? Maybe you have looked at kink porn and felt surprisingly aroused. Perhaps walked by a sex shop with a window exhibition of latex and cuffs. Or more likely in today’s world, you have seen fifty shades of grey and desired to be Anastasia instead of Christian.

Personally, I feel honored to guide people into the vast domain of kink. I am super excited every time I get the opportunity to allow newbies to try things they have fantasized about in real life. 

At first, we have conversations on text to figure out what you would like to try and what is off limits. Then, when we meet in person, these are followed up by a detailed introduction and agreement between the two of us of what will be explored within a session. 

After exploring curiosity, content and limits, the real fun begins. Once you emerge from the shower in our agreed upon attire, I will have a session planned specifically for your needs and desires. I carefully start at a low level of impact and check in when felt necessary as I gradually increase intensity throughout our time together. 

If anything we try is not your cup of tea, I make sure you are ok to continue with something else or if you would like to pause and debrief about the activity. In a tempo suitable to us both, I guide you through pain and pleasure until we reach a climax and then hold space for you as you transition back to everyday consciousness. 

Once the session is over, we have a chat about how the various elements were to you. I encourage you to share from your experience and what you enjoyed and what might not have been as expected. I make sure you are in a good condition to leave, before sending you off with unparalleled memories and either a fully scratched itch or the beginning of a beautiful journey into the universe of kink.