Incorporate self care, your body and mind will thank you for it.

It’s easy to push self care to the side in the midst of session set up, content creation, picture editing, social media management and daily administrative duties. However, all of these tasks flow easier with a rejuvenated body, mind and spirit.

Self care can be many things, such as meditation, yoga, physical activity, massage, a nourishing meal, quality time with friends or something as simple as lighting a scented candle.

The forms of self care I’ve built into my daily routine are meditation, pranayama (breathing exercises), yoga, walking in nature, going to the gym and having a fresh smoothie or juice. 

About once or twice a week I go for a swim, run and/or dancing. A couple times a month I get a manicure and pedicure and even less frequent, I get a massage. 

The types of self care I would love to do more of is sound healing, different types of massage and bodywork, facials (I just had my second facial ever and my skin is glowing) and longer spa sessions. 

Two times in my life I’ve gone on extended yoga retreats with full focus on yoga and healthy living. After this, I’ve returned to my everyday life with new vigor and determination. Going on a health retreat once or twice a year to devote myself to extended self care in a serene location is something I envision for the future.

Self care is important to fit into our busy lives both as dominant and submissive. Do something that is just for you. Do what makes you feel like you’re nourishing yourself and leaves you feeling more relaxed and at ease afterwards.  

For both me as a dominant and my submissives, it is important to show up as the best versions of ourselves and take good care of our body, mind and spirit in between sessions. I’m hoping this post will inspire you to incorporate at least one form of self care today. 

Want to get to know me and my desires better? Check out my self interview adapted from questions from Ivy Societe.

What is your ideal date with a client?

Before the date, I will familiarise myself with his kinks and decide that he needs to wear for instance and anal plug, a cock cage, women’s lingerie or all of the above underneath his clothes to our date.

Meeting up at a restaurant serving a great degustation menu, omakase, or a good steak. Having a cocktail and saying cheers to a good night as I glance down at his locked cock.

Popping a bottle of champagne that I’ll be drinking in between lots of water, while looking teasingly over at my client as we both know he’ll be drenched in my champagne later. I’ll discreetly run my long nails along a part of his body or stroke the heal of my shoe against his inner thigh while crossing my legs over. Indulging in delicious food all while building up tension and excitement for what’s to come.

What's your biggest turn on?

Knowing the client has fully surrendered himself to my will and I’m completely in charge.

Secret desires and shared naughty experiences only me and the other person(s) know about.

What’s your favourite restaurant and your favourite dish on the menu?

Eau de Vie in Melbourne

Tetsuya in Sydney

Both offer more seasonal based degustation menus so picking a particular dish is difficult. I would have to say the whole experience at both restaurants.

Among your friends, what are you best known for?

Being unconventional. Being an intense all-in or nothing kind of person. Questioning commonly held beliefs. Exercising a lot. Travelling as much as I can. Never giving up.

Whats something you couldn't live without?

Music.

What's Your favourite Place on Earth?

Cuba for amazing beaches, great hiking, rainforest, cars you won’t see anywhere else, great food, highly educated friendly people, music, dance and vibrancy.

Tokyo for food, fish market, culture and diversity of experiences available.

I wrote my master’s dissertation on the topic of the Dark Goddess and the Feminine Shadow. On this date, seven years ago, I moved to Australia with the intention of a six month break before continuing my PhD work on the same topic. I never went back.

Instead, I fell in love with Australia and put my PhD studies on hold indefinitely. I tried putting the Dark Goddess at the back of my mind. At the same time, I started working as a Dominatrix. Oblivious to how my choice of profession was a practical extension of my studies in a modern day setting. 

Instead of researching and writing, I became the Dark Goddess.

It’s not until I sit here today, seven years later, reflecting on the years I’ve called Australia home, that I can see how my choice of profession is clearly related to my studies. Sometimes, you need to take the time to sit down, reflect on how you got to where you are now, to realize how it's all connected. Even if it’s never occurred to you before.

Will I ever go back to my PhD dissertation? I might, but my thesis could be different. Perhaps it will be an inquiry into the Dark Goddess in Her modern guise. But, I’m in no rush to get back to academic writing. I’m having too much fun embracing more and more of the Dark Goddess in myself.