Incorporate self care, your body and mind will thank you for it.

It’s easy to push self care to the side in the midst of session set up, content creation, picture editing, social media management and daily administrative duties. However, all of these tasks flow easier with a rejuvenated body, mind and spirit.

Self care can be many things, such as meditation, yoga, physical activity, massage, a nourishing meal, quality time with friends or something as simple as lighting a scented candle.

The forms of self care I’ve built into my daily routine are meditation, pranayama (breathing exercises), yoga, walking in nature, going to the gym and having a fresh smoothie or juice. 

About once or twice a week I go for a swim, run and/or dancing. A couple times a month I get a manicure and pedicure and even less frequent, I get a massage. 

The types of self care I would love to do more of is sound healing, different types of massage and bodywork, facials (I just had my second facial ever and my skin is glowing) and longer spa sessions. 

Two times in my life I’ve gone on extended yoga retreats with full focus on yoga and healthy living. After this, I’ve returned to my everyday life with new vigor and determination. Going on a health retreat once or twice a year to devote myself to extended self care in a serene location is something I envision for the future.

Self care is important to fit into our busy lives both as dominant and submissive. Do something that is just for you. Do what makes you feel like you’re nourishing yourself and leaves you feeling more relaxed and at ease afterwards.  

For both me as a dominant and my submissives, it is important to show up as the best versions of ourselves and take good care of our body, mind and spirit in between sessions. I’m hoping this post will inspire you to incorporate at least one form of self care today. 

Want to get to know me and my desires better? Check out my self interview adapted from questions from Ivy Societe.

What is your ideal date with a client?

Before the date, I will familiarise myself with his kinks and decide that he needs to wear for instance and anal plug, a cock cage, women’s lingerie or all of the above underneath his clothes to our date.

Meeting up at a restaurant serving a great degustation menu, omakase, or a good steak. Having a cocktail and saying cheers to a good night as I glance down at his locked cock.

Popping a bottle of champagne that I’ll be drinking in between lots of water, while looking teasingly over at my client as we both know he’ll be drenched in my champagne later. I’ll discreetly run my long nails along a part of his body or stroke the heal of my shoe against his inner thigh while crossing my legs over. Indulging in delicious food all while building up tension and excitement for what’s to come.

What's your biggest turn on?

Knowing the client has fully surrendered himself to my will and I’m completely in charge.

Secret desires and shared naughty experiences only me and the other person(s) know about.

What’s your favourite restaurant and your favourite dish on the menu?

Eau de Vie in Melbourne

Tetsuya in Sydney

Both offer more seasonal based degustation menus so picking a particular dish is difficult. I would have to say the whole experience at both restaurants.

Among your friends, what are you best known for?

Being unconventional. Being an intense all-in or nothing kind of person. Questioning commonly held beliefs. Exercising a lot. Travelling as much as I can. Never giving up.

Whats something you couldn't live without?

Music.

What's Your favourite Place on Earth?

Cuba for amazing beaches, great hiking, rainforest, cars you won’t see anywhere else, great food, highly educated friendly people, music, dance and vibrancy.

Tokyo for food, fish market, culture and diversity of experiences available.

I wrote my master’s dissertation on the topic of the Dark Goddess and the Feminine Shadow. On this date, seven years ago, I moved to Australia with the intention of a six month break before continuing my PhD work on the same topic. I never went back.

Instead, I fell in love with Australia and put my PhD studies on hold indefinitely. I tried putting the Dark Goddess at the back of my mind. At the same time, I started working as a Dominatrix. Oblivious to how my choice of profession was a practical extension of my studies in a modern day setting. 

Instead of researching and writing, I became the Dark Goddess.

It’s not until I sit here today, seven years later, reflecting on the years I’ve called Australia home, that I can see how my choice of profession is clearly related to my studies. Sometimes, you need to take the time to sit down, reflect on how you got to where you are now, to realize how it's all connected. Even if it’s never occurred to you before.

Will I ever go back to my PhD dissertation? I might, but my thesis could be different. Perhaps it will be an inquiry into the Dark Goddess in Her modern guise. But, I’m in no rush to get back to academic writing. I’m having too much fun embracing more and more of the Dark Goddess in myself. 

A domination session is a multisensory experience. A  scene is carefully planned, considering how it will affect all your senses.

Visually, I make sure I’m dressed impeccably in lingerie, leather and/or latex with boots or heels from my extensive collection, freshly applied make-up, soft smooth skin, manicure and pedicure. I arrange the gear and toys in a visually pleasing and organized manner. I consider what level of light is most suitable, usually it’s dimmed on the darker side, or candlelit. However, if I want to dress you up as a girl for instance, I might want you strutting your stuff to me in a more lit space.

In the auditory realm, I pick music and decide on the tone and level of my voice most suited for the session. Do I find it appropriate to play music in the background? If so, perhaps something enchanting and witchy, energy enhancing meditation music, chillstep, classical, or even metal. If I choose to use music, something without words feels more suitable to me. In many cases silence is preferred as there is already enough going on to satisfy the senses and adding music would be an overload instead of an enhancement.

Tactically, I love to play with textures in clothing, restraints, teasing and spanking. The soft, smooth sensation of leather against your skin. The texture of the rope being tied carefully around your wrists. My hands stroking your bum before spanking it, then stroking it again. Teasingly caressing your skin with a leather flogger. So many options of pleasure and delicious pain.

When it comes to gustation, it can involve for example force feeding the submissive with food placed on my foot or making them lick up every last drop of a certain liquid. Golden shower, hot sauce, my dirty shoes. Delicious and entertaining in their own particular ways.
To focus the session on one or more senses over others, include sensory deprivation. By removing one or more of the senses, the remaining senses are infused with heightened awareness. 

In summary, a domination session is a multisensory experience that can include visual, auditory, tactical, olfactory and gustation senses in various degrees. 

Another year, 365 days of experiences. Filled with life, love, BDSM, swimming, running on the beach, introducing newbies to domination and exploring Australia. 

What new experiences would I like to invite into my life this year? 

In the BDSM realm I’m considering booking a session with another Dominatrix to experience being on the other side of the ropes, literally. I have to admit rope bondage is not my strongest side and that’s something I’d like to change this year.

When it comes to my inner explorer, I’d love to learn how to sail and travel around the Whitsundays. Technically speaking, another thing including ropes. A trip without any work for once. Something I rarely do.

Speaking of work trips, I would like to tour places I haven’t toured before in Australia. High on that list is Hobart. This time I’m planning a half work, half experience trip and looking at dates around Dark Mofo. 

In the physical realm, I’d love to add regular martial arts classes onto my yoga, strength training, running and swimming regimen. I am also keen on burlesque classes. 

Trying new cuisine and restaurants, while also cooking more at home is another desire I have for the new year. Since my body decided to become lactose intolerant in my mid twenties, followed by gluten intolerant a couple years later, I will need to find food suitable to my sensitivities.

I’m looking forward to continuing designing my life as best suited for me. Filled with new experiences and continual improvement of my craft.