My first memory of being dominant is from when I was six years old and instructed a group of local boys to build a treehouse for me. I told them what pieces of wood to use and what I wanted it to look like. If they were being lazy, I yelled at them to keep working and threatened to hit them with a tree branch if they disobeyed. It came naturally to me. 

My second BDSM related memory is from when I was thirteen, when my girlfriend and I hung out by the gas station and an older guy asked us to take our shoes and socks off and play with our feet. He offered us $30 to do so. We thought he was a total creep and ran away. Even though we discarded his offer, the fact that my feet could be profitable stuck to the back of mind.  

My third memory also involves foot fetish. I was fifteen and a rumor spread that a dude in the other class texted girls on messenger asking to buy their used socks. I did not believe it until he asked me himself. I still did not believe him and made him confirm in person he was the one sending the messages. When he did, he also asked if I could tie him to a tree in the forest and leave him there overnight. I thought he was crazy. 

Fast forward ten years, and I'm living in San Francisco being introduced to the Armory and a group of kinksters. I feel like I entered this magical world I always dreamed existed. The energy, the toys, the people, the power exchanges. It felt like a homecoming. 

With this post, I wish to inspire you to look within yourself and reflect on your first BDSM related memories. In this journey of life, it can be valuable to go back to the origins of whatever fantasies we are currently preoccupied with and embrace these first sparks of interest. 

Digital domination is increasingly popular these days when people are confined to their home. Sessions come in many forms such as text, call, video call and clips. A digital session gives the submissive a safe space to explore their kinks and the dominatrix to understand their demeanor and desires. This type of play can be a full BDSM experience in itself. 

Another benefit with digital sessions is that they give both the dominatrix and the submissive insights on how to prepare for the best possible session when they meet in the flesh. When used between in person sessions, text, call and video sessions keep up the momentum between the dominatrix and the submissive. In the digital playspace, they can reflect on a previous playtime, plan future explorations, and conduct it as an in person session.

Personally, I used to prefer in person sessions since they let you tune in to and play with the submissive’s energy, body and mind in a way digital sessions fall short of. However, since I had to switch to digital sessions during lockdowns, I have grown to like them more and more. 

Since I love writing, being able to place a submissive in a state of complete devotion through the written word gives me a sense of power and arousal. A text session opens up a creative space where we can explore kinks in depth and build a connection. 

Digital sessions can be exhilarating and liberating, as they allow us to uncover our desires without boundaries that might hold us back in person, such as shyness. Once certain aspects of one’s submission have been explored in a digital space, it can give a deeper understanding of one’s kinks and make it easier to live out a fantasy in real life.

Stepping across the threshold

As you step into the Dominatrix abode, you cross a threshold between ordinary life and fantasy. Ideally, stressors of daily life are left at the door as you relinquish all control to Her.

When I prepare a room specifically for our session, I step into my role as a Dominatrix and set up the necessary equipment and visualize step by step what lies ahead and potential variations in the session’s content. This way, I am already in the scene and prepared to welcome you in.

Alter ego

The Dominatrix is a powerful force that safely puts you in your place with her attire and demeanor. As a submissive, your task is to obey and worship Her. She makes the rules and you follow them.

Other times, in addition to being under the Dominatrix control, the submissive takes on a whole other personality. Examples include during pet play, adult baby play, and sissy sessions.

This alter ego has its own clothes and behavior, such as in sissy play when the submissive might have acquired a secret wardrobe for his alternate persona. Preparation for this type of play can begin before the session with for example the submissive sissy wearing women’s lingerie underneath his suit during the workday before seeing the Dominatrix.

Chastity

Another secret alteration to a submissive's everyday life is being locked in chastity and giving the Dominatrix the key. Giving Her full control of your manhood can be surprisingly freeing. You no longer need to think about when your next release will be. It is all in Her hands.

We keep a secret to the outside world on both ends of our agreement. You keep the chastity device under your pants and I keep the key on my necklace.

Suitcase of Secrets

Whenever I do an outcall or go on tour, I carry a big bag of secrets with me. Paddles, floggers, crops, restraints, cuffs, tape, latex, leather, lingerie, boots, shoes, lube, strapons, condoms and more fill up a rather substantially sized bag or suitcase as I venture to my destination.

I was once stopped by security at an airport in Norway when they pulled a collar and metal leash out of my carry-on and held it up, showing it intentionally to all travelers behind me saying “what is this?” I looked at them with annoyance and answered “it is a collar and leash, it is pretty clear to me.” They carefully put it back in my suitcase and let me go.

I like keeping my secrets in the bag until I reach my destination. I am sure plenty of Uber drivers and hotel staff have pondered the size and weight of my luggage. I am carrying a whole experience in my suitcase, of course it is heavy as hell.

Freedom in Secrecy

Having a secret component of life can feel liberating. You know there is a space you can enter where you are completely free from the demands of the outside world.

What happens during the time you spend with a Dominatrix largely remains a secret whether you are open to people in your life about being into BDSM or not. A session gives both the submissive and the Dominatrix a well of memories to visit when a break from the mundane is desired.

Whether you are walking through an airport with a suitcase filled to the brim with BDSM gear, or wearing women’s lingerie underneath your suit at a work meeting, you carry a bit of your secret life with you. Just enough to add an extra spark to your eyes.

1. Complete Control 

Nothing excites me more than knowing you are fully at my mercy. 100% devoted to serving me. Your pain and pleasure lies in my hands and I thrive from making the most of it.

2. Cock and Ball Torture

I absolutely love playing with a subs cock and balls. Especially inflicting pain with my hands; squeezing your balls, and using my nails on the head of your cock. Ballbusting using my feet to kick your balls is another favourite.

3. Pegging

I love the change of power dynamics when I put on my strap-on and get ready to fuck. I enjoy fucking first timers as much as more experienced men. Sensual and slow or hard and fast, pegging makes me feel strong, excited and empowered.

4. Foot worship

A submissive fully devoted to my feet that takes his time to give me a proper foot massage and then kisses and licks every part of my feet. After this, I step on his face and make him fully immerse himself in my feet. 

5. Tease and Denial

I love using my sensuality and curves to make you crave for me. Then, perhaps I’ll play with you just a little, before teasing you with my feminine beauty, making you beg for more.

Are you curious if the world of BDSM is for you? Maybe you have looked at kink porn and felt surprisingly aroused. Perhaps walked by a sex shop with a window exhibition of latex and cuffs. Or more likely in today’s world, you have seen fifty shades of grey and desired to be Anastasia instead of Christian.

Personally, I feel honored to guide people into the vast domain of kink. I am super excited every time I get the opportunity to allow newbies to try things they have fantasized about in real life. 

At first, we have conversations on text to figure out what you would like to try and what is off limits. Then, when we meet in person, these are followed up by a detailed introduction and agreement between the two of us of what will be explored within a session. 

After exploring curiosity, content and limits, the real fun begins. Once you emerge from the shower in our agreed upon attire, I will have a session planned specifically for your needs and desires. I carefully start at a low level of impact and check in when felt necessary as I gradually increase intensity throughout our time together. 

If anything we try is not your cup of tea, I make sure you are ok to continue with something else or if you would like to pause and debrief about the activity. In a tempo suitable to us both, I guide you through pain and pleasure until we reach a climax and then hold space for you as you transition back to everyday consciousness. 

Once the session is over, we have a chat about how the various elements were to you. I encourage you to share from your experience and what you enjoyed and what might not have been as expected. I make sure you are in a good condition to leave, before sending you off with unparalleled memories and either a fully scratched itch or the beginning of a beautiful journey into the universe of kink.  

Have you fantasized about a powerful woman wearing a strap on? Perhaps played with the idea of her grabbing you by the hair and putting her cock deep inside your mouth before flipping you around and slowly sliding into your wet ass? 

If this sounds like you, you are not alone. Many men find great enjoyment from anal play and being fucked in the ass by a woman. 

But that’s how the gay play you might say. So what. Why should homosexual men experience more pleasure than you?

I understand it might not be the easiest thing to ask your partner to put something up your butthole. Especially if you have never shown interest in such before. Maybe you are simply curious and do not even know if you will enjoy it. This is where seeing a professional provides a safe way to explore your desires. 

A dominatrix will ease you into the anal experience at your level of comfort. She can guide you deeper into delight with her fingers and toys. More importantly perhaps, she also knows when to stop and when to move forward. Through experience, she has learned to handle anything that might happen during playtime. With Her, you are in a safe place to explore. 

Treat yourself to anal exploration. You might uncover new levels of pleasure and sensation. 

Christmas holds the potential for both stress and serenity. Allow me to make sure you get more of the latter. 

Whether the festive season at the end of the year is a time of great joy or despair to you, one thing is sure, you deserve a treat. A present sure to be a feast to all your senses is a booking with an escort.

A Christmas date can include traditional treats such as cookies and eggnog or be customized to fulfill your desires. Perhaps you'd like me to open the door naked wrapped in Christmas lights? 

It makes me incredibly happy to plan a date that will leave us ecstatic and with secret memories to cherish forever. 

Let us put our imaginations together and create the ultimate Christmas date.

Merry Christmas

Tension release

Are you in a high pressure job where you have to be switched on and ready to handle any challenge 24/7? Imagine being able to fully separate your mind and body from all responsibilities and hand over the reigns of your existence for a couple hours. Separating fully from stressors can bring forth a huge tension release and leave you feeling euphoric and ready to take on challenges with a clear mind.

An unfulfilled desire to be submissive

Have you fantasized about a powerful woman taking charge of your body and mind? Is it something you are unlikely to admit to desiring in your everyday life? This is where hiring a professional dominatrix is a great idea to let you explore an aspect of yourself you have not given space before in the right set and setting. She will guide you into the new world of submission and together you will uncover what aspects of submission are most suitable for you to unpack.

Expanded understanding of power dynamics

Being in a state of submission is very different from many peoples everyday reality. Putting yourself in such a position can give you valuable insights into what it is like to be under someone else’s control and influence. 

You are always in control and would like to experience giving up control

Are you the boss in your personal and professional life? Do people turn to you expecting you to always be in control? Do you always have every little aspect of your life planned out to the finest detail? Imagine not having to make any decisions and simply follow directions without knowing what will happen next. If you dare step into an experience so far from your ordinary day to day life, it can give you a great release of tension as previously mentioned and open your mind to see things from different perspectives. 

You are open minded and would like to try something new

If you are naturally open minded, adventurous and curious about different dimensions of sexuality, it can be a rewarding experience to dive into the world of BDSM guided by a professional. A session with a dominatrix will  let you discover something new to add to your sexual repertoire. It may let unpack another aspect of your sexuality which can open you up to a whole range of experiences previously unexplored. At the very least you will leave with exciting memories and another thing to cross off your bucket list.

Why on Earth is the midpoint of a pandemic a good time to see a sex worker? 

First, we are already extremely careful about hygiene and sanitization of our workspace. The pending threat of disease makes us even more cautious, so rest assured, you're most likely stepping into one of the last places a virus would survive.

Second, the public fear has made some clients cancel their bookings and others think twice about making one. As a result those who decide to see us will really make our day and be shown how much we value them as a client.

Third, in a time of gloom, you are much better suited to deal with whatever life throws at you when you're happy. That's where we come in. Sex and physical touch are directly related to happiness. Some may even go as far as saying sex is the key to happiness and good health. 

Now, I highly encourage you to visit your local sex worker, gain some valuable sanitization tips, share some laughs and protected intimacy and leave with a smile on your face. If anything, it should prepare you to more easily slide through what may become a time of even greater despair.

“How could they hire someone as incompetent as you for the sales position? I haven’t seen anyone as useless as you in years. Now, I can think of a couple ways for you to make up for that...” 

Welcome to the world of role play. My personal favourites include naughty secretary, inspecting landlady, stepsister, demanding boss, and pornstar at job interview. 

Stepping into a role adds another layer of excitement and permission to leave the mundane behind. 

I love assisting clients to act out their fantasies. Personally, I find acting thrilling and particularly enjoy the process of getting into character and the improvisation that follows. Whether it's acting out a script or acting an open role, it encourages a playfulness that invigorates our lives long after the play is over.

My heart beat faster as I surrendered to his touch. I released all desire to resist as he put cuffs around my wrists and locked my arms together behind my back. I willingly let him take control over me, the untamable one.

A fresh awareness of body and breath arose as I was liberated from performing. He gently threw me down on the couch face down. His soft, yet firm hands caressed my butt before he spanked me once on each cheek. Is that all you got? The moment it slipped out of me, I both regretted saying such and felt an extreme excitement for what came next. He slapped my right buttcheek so hard it gave off a perfect spanking sound. The arousing pain stripped my mind from thoughts as my body became all sensation. 

I quickly snapped out of it as my perfectionist self came back to hold the reigns of my brain. How was it that this newbie gave off a better spanking sound on my ass than I do on others? Perhaps my booty just give off a good sound? Dammit, just as easy as I lost control, my mind was ready to take it back. I told my first dominant to release me, and that I had enough for the first time. Inside, I craved for more. 

The exhilaration I felt from releasing control infused me with new excitement for life and work. Now, I know what it’s like not to think or plan or hold space. Unaware of what will happen next. Aware only of sensations. Outside the mind, in the field of the body, where pleasure and pain become one. 

I love my job. It's taken me over 10 years to finally dare become a sex worker, what I always wanted. Surely, I would be the last person to give up my beloved profession and lifestyle for a man?

Think again. Before being bewildered by a boyfriend and prospects of a "normal" life, I never doubted my choices in life. Then, I too got lured away by love. At least what I thought was love at the moment. While in my mind, love should be unconditional. In this case it was conditioned by me having to reluctantly agree to seeing my work as morally wrong.

The strong, independent woman I thought I was caved into conditioned love. I no longer felt good about working and took an indefinite break while struggling to adapt to a life of Netflix, chill and dog walks. 

To be loved I gave up my life. I lied and humoured my man and his limited view on sex work as amoral.

Personally, I find sex work beautiful. It allows for genuine connection, exploration of sexuality, and gives space for people to be free and exactly who they want to be, even if just for an hour. Every hour I worked I felt privileged to be a guide in the realm of sexuality. Then I turned around and gave it all up to fit into a box that was never fitted for me.

You may wonder where the story ends? Well, I realised that someone who can't love me for who I am will never accept me as an equal. I choose to take the good memories with me as I decide to be myself again, fully. No limitations and no shame. I am at a stage where my life is exactly what I designed it to be, doing what I love, being happy and free. No one can tell me that's the wrong place to be.